crushes...

i can't think of anything worse. why do i have to make the most severe crushes on people i have no chance with? i always want more than i can get and it needs to stop. peace

feelin

a little flat atm. apparently i have tonsillitis and heaps enjoy not being able to swallow and eat. not to mention the fact that i have four assignments due within the next 3 weeks? why must teachers insist on giving us more work when we need to be 'preparing' for 'our futures'. so anyone who is keen on public speaking and would relish the idea of a ten minute speech on malaria without palm cards, call me.

so

fucking insecure

drifting

back into my old ways. thinking i can wait until i go to uni, spend a few years globe trotting with the best friend. thats why i undoubtedly want. on the plus side, if i start uni when i'm like 20 apparently the government will give me money because i'm a mature aged student, who wouldn't want that? i honestly just want to disappear for like 2 years...

trials are going, slowly. maths on monday- not ready, cafs on tuesday- not ready, bio and pd on wednesday- certainly not ready. this sucks

true love

give me england, give me the underground, over and over again

hmm...

i hate being bored, none of the friends are talking, i'm sitting in a pile of maths notes not looking at any and i'm waiting for someone who probably won't show. how swell is life...

finally

figured out what i want to do with my life minus the travelling and the partying and the general highs of life. only snag is i now need to somehow procure a 90.25 uai. this seems to be a bit of a problem seeing the last year of schooling has pretty much been going towards nothing, hence the not trying part, only now it is going towards something. i really hope i don't mess this up

ps. need to memorise four essays and one creative writing piece by tomorrow. hello trials, i really love you

i love

how things always seem to happen when you stop trying. you are finally happy and content about going without, when all of a sudden you don't have to. aka hey ryan. new philosophy - stop wanting things

also, trials start on monday. safe to say i am not ready. so looking forward to quiet procrastination in the examination room mmm......

wish list

- november second
um thats all.
over and out

giving up

on trying to please people, if you don't like me deal with it by yourself. also giving up on attemps to find a 'formal date' slash boy in general. i hate you newcastle

i want

him to ask me

lack of colour

can everyone just ignore me for the next few months please. its guaranteed that i'm in a bad mood most days because of the hsc and lack of any enthusiasm. i want out

content

sitting on the lounge, watching that generation show with my mum, lurkin' fmylife.com and eating the nicest chocolates. also good feelings knowing i did two hours of study this afternoon WHICH IS UNHEARD OF. i honestly think this was the first time i have ever sat down and productively studied. so proud of myself

note- from the beginning of this post til now i have consumed one to many chocs and have that feeling of knowing i should stop but they are just too tasty.

?

if you want to annoy me put question marks into sentences where they don't belong. you sound so unsure of yourself and i don't know why it bugs me so much but it does? i went shopping today? i love you? DON'T DO IT. grammar is important people

ben stiller

hey monkey man, please die- and quietly
i don't think there is anyone i hate more in this world
you're not funny and you have a weird voice

however, i do love....

don't ask me to explain. all i know is rapping to you with my baby is possibly the best thing ever

headache

spending a day in sydney, surrounded by no one but asians and indians, might positively be the worst thing ever. note to self- never again go to cabramatta. i felt foreign in my own country. how does that work? i am usually tolerant, but australia we are outnumbered.

on a lighter note, i got material for my formal dress- 'kingfisher' blue. i'm hoping beyond hope that i'm not let down by this, i want it to be nothing short of amazing.

personal note for brit if you read this- stay strong, we are all here for you and loving you always.

lost

i honestly don't know whats going on. one minute i have everything under control and am happy with what i have in life and the next i am completely lost. i really just want this year to be over, to get a proper job, to start saving every penny and to start life over- minus australia. that is the only conclusion i seem to come to whenever i think about it.
new country, new life.
peace

reconnecting

with old friends is quite possibly the nicest thing ever. i have been so caught up in who knows what lately that i forgot how much everyone meant to me and vice versa. we have all grown up together and should stay together. long live st philips

how sad

i'm my only member

love and hate

i have just had the best weekend ever and now i'm laying here in my cosy cosy bed telling myself to go to do some study seeing as this amounts to nothing except photocopies of everyone elses. i am very proactive in my learning. urgh, i seriously cannot do this anymore. i swear november the second isn't actually ever going to come, it's just there to make me want it, but never have it.

on a lighter note, last night was willlld wild wild. probably the best 18th i've been to in a long long time. dash (me in greek form) came and met all my school friends and now everyone is friends- which is THE BEST. and i went to disney princess because i am actually six years old.

now while i go back to 'study' you can all enjoy these happy snaps....

birthdays

happy happy birthday to my cute little half of a sister. long live re-marriage or i would never have met you. wishing for mine again- bring on the one eight!

why

did i create a blog? answer me that lurkers.
heres the low down- my life consists of me trying to NOT flunk the hsc, working in the deli, kfc and being generally bad at everything. but i'm cool with this, i have my friends and this incredible ability to be horrible just for the fun of it.
judge now.
until next post...